Fear

Taking The Plunge

Well, I did it!

I just ordered 50 copies of Dark Beauty.

Am I out of my freaking mind?

My hands were shaking as I hit the submit button.

Of course lulu.com was very helpful ... ARE YOU SURE? YOU ARE ORDERING A QUANTITY GREATER THAN ONE! ... Jeez! Talk about giving me the willies!

I had already purchase and reviewed two proofs and I do not have time to get another proof before November 8th and the start of Between The Worlds. Sooooo I am taking the plunge!

Hopefully it will not be a bath.

Other than that excitement ... lessee .... Oh yeah!

Thanks to everyone who responded, called and sent prayers my way. I feel so much better. Still sad for my friends, but now that I have some distance, it is a sadness I am honored to bear.

I've been on the phone off and on all day -- (hint: something wonderful happened about 52 years ago!) And it is such a beautiful day.

Gangster GeekGangster GeekAnd what am I doing ... why I am having a veritable geekfest! Just in case you had not noticed ... I have another blog I update occasionally - Amber's Blog on my web design site. I decided I needed to feed my ever loving geek heart so I have dedicated this week to getting my geek on!

Yeah, BABY! I am doing it ONLINE!

love ya -- mean it,
K

Posted in

Submitted by katrina on Mon, 10/22/2007 - 2:24pm.

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Recent comments

  • Storm (not verified)

    This sounds like something I need to do. I hope that I can work it out.

    4 weeks 3 days ago
  • Reya Mellicker (not verified)

    Connect DC is TEN?? Wow. Time flies.

    Did I ever mention to you that I think the impact that working had on me was to connect me to DC? I'm so hooked in here ... just call me "swamp thang."

    Speaking of which ... isn't it margarita weather? Let's get together.

    Much love,
    Reya

    p.s. So cool to see my drawing again! Thank you for publishing!

    9 weeks 2 days ago
  • NorthLight (not verified)

    "Such beautiful dreaming! Such clear work. You sound so much in-focus just now.

    I honor this work and delight in reading your words ... and I'm moved to participate in the dreaming-work, perhaps more than is appropriate.

    I think I'll take the risk, and I hope you'll tell me if you'd rather I not do it again.

    In the dream group I used to work with, we would read one of our dreams aloud and then go around the room, each one beginning their remarks with "If this were my dream..." and then sharing whatever the pieces seemed to illuminate for them. And then the next person might see something quite different in the same images, the same words.

    In that sense, if this were my dream just now, in my dream I am surrounded by water -- my life is filled with emotion, covering and drowning everything else, so that all I can see is my feelings.

    The gathering of song and all these incredible people -- my life, friendships, the harmony we make together. And in my dream, I am beginning to see myself moving on. Does this mean a change of geography? a change of emphasis? in my life this minute this could be about gradually shifting some of the focus of my everyday spiritual community from the UUs to the Yoga studio, or it could be something quite different. If I had this dream last week sometime, it would look like the impending end of an important relationship.

    And in all of those possibilities, I am so present to the sadness with which I gather up what is mine to take with me, make my farewells, and lose my ability to remember the words. In all of these possibilities, even as I'm leaving I'm rethinking the choice to leave ... do I really have to? why?

    In my dream, I look for my car because I want to escape ... and I can't find my car because there's no way out. As I'm searching the beautiful dark man in the hotel uniform helps me -- the hotel uniform telling me that wherever I am is only a way station, his beauty telling me that I can enjoy and appreciate his help, his darkness telling me that sometimes I need to look closely to see what is important (other times everything is well-lighted).

    I keep looking for the way out even as the hotel man would make me welcome, and eventually the welcome is withdrawn as he leaves. And then I am lost and wandering, trying to find my way home -- having ignored help and support, I find I can't find the way alone after all.

    And now that my dream has ended, I see there is much here that I can use in my waking life, too. So thank you for dreaming this dream, thanks for sharing it, thanks for letting me dream it, too.

    Many blessings, Dear One"

    9 weeks 5 days ago
  • hele (not verified)

    "I sit staring out the window, not lost in thought, but feeling completely and totally blank inside." I have been sitting in a similar space.

    Your post reminds me to trust and to listen for the song.

    11 weeks 1 hour ago