Snapshots May 09

I have a lot going on in my life as of late so it has been difficult to sit down and write.

But no, that is not wholly true.

It is difficult to compose, not write. I am having difficulties with my thought processes, so although I can think about complex topics and pontificate on them endlessly to anyone unlucky silly enough to come into my orbit, I cannot take these thoughts and coherently reproduce them effectively on the page.

I also get how that last paragraph seems to contradict itself.

But the thoughts I want share are way too cool and way too deep to just be thrown onto the page. So they will have to wait till I can untangle the rat’s nest settling into my mind at the moment. It is partially due to the medication I am on. I have been on low dose prednisone for about a week, which is probably the source of the following irritations. There is a long story that goes along with this, so I will save it till I can write it out to my satisfaction.

So instead I offer you a few choice rants from my life at the moment.

1. My accountant and I had a humorous conversation this morning about how last year a man who had never met me before had somehow determined that I needed advice on what computer to buy. As I was leaving her inner office, I was asking her about any special tax considerations that would make it preferable to buy a new laptop in 2008 instead of waiting till 2009. So it was a tax question, not a technical question. She had responded that I should buy it in 2008. She asked if I wanted to take her copy of Consumer Reports to figure out what I needed and I said no thanks since I was planning to buy another Mac Pro laptop.

   And that is when this complete stranger began telling me all these reasons why I should not buy a Mac. At first I just stared at him as he went on and on, then I said I was familiar with computers and had made up my mind. That is when it became really strange. Lets just say, I ended the conversation abruptly by flipping open the magazine and displaying how Consumer Reports agreed with me and brusquely left.

   This year, I shared with my accountant just how outrageous it had felt to me at the time. She was unaware of the details of my career as a telecommunications engineer, hardware engineer, system designer, smart phone technologies researcher and national expert, international video/caching/gateway/multicast protocol standards expert and internet architect. I became a web designer because I thought it would be fun to work with the easy stuff for a change. I still laugh at how Starhawk keeps referring to me as a software engineer. I used that title back when folks could not figure out what I did for a living as an electrical engineer.

   I bring this up because yesterday Rose looked me straight in the eyes and asked me sarcastically if anyone had ever told me that I was a geek. I at first laughed very hard. She made the comment because Amazon had sent me an email listing all these mathematical books that were on sale and I was checking them out with interest. But then I stopped and thought about it. No, actually most people have no idea just how much of a geek I really am. That is why I usually have to bring it up. I am frankly tired of being a stealth geek. I want folks to know that this is what a geek looks like. I think maybe I need to make a T-shirt or at least a button.

   Then I read Wil Wheaton’s critical comments concerning a web campaign to enhance the perception of geeks. And I have to agree with him with one caveat. I was always the cool one, I was always the tough one AND I have always been a geek. So like him, I completely resent the implication that we need anyone else’s approval but I also feel that being a geek is not mutually exclusive with being a bad ass. Just saying …

2. I have also never liked how the media continually portrays black inner city culture. I get how contemporary culture is defined more by what is “in” with young people rather than say us fifty-year-olds. But give me a break. I grew up in the ghetto, ran with gangs, been in a few fights and even use to carry a gun. But the entire time I used complete sentences, wore clothes that fit, did my homework, showed up for work and school on time and paid my bills. I am mentioning this not to assail the so-called unruly youth but to stop folks my age from acting like complete idiots in an attempt to pretend they are young again. If I see one more adult male over the age of forty wearing baggy pants and talking like a rapper, I may have reached back to *my* youth and stomp his ass. Just saying …
3. My last issue is with my hair. I keep holding off coloring it because without the grey all kinds of people seem to want to write me off. So let me just say this last bit as a public service for the majority culture – you know who you are.

   Different people age differently. Many women of color look much, much younger than their white counterparts. Do not assume that I am appreciably younger than you. You can tell how old we are by noting several clues. Clothes, mannerisms and language are what we use to determine who is the elder in a situation. Notice who the black people are holding doors open for and follow suit. I know it is subtle, but we have spent our entire lives learning all about you, now it is your turn. Again, just saying …

/ rant

Man, these pills are making me feel more than a little bitchy. Hopefully I will be back to my normal eloquence and harmonious mood sooner rather than later. Hope, hope, hope …

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ERA: The Time Is Now

With all of these disheartening results coming in from the proposition fights, I think the time is ripe to revive our fight for the Equal Rights Amendment. Only a change at the federal level can turn back these horrendous laws. Fighting state by state to stop and/or overturn these initiatives is an energy and money drainer that returns every two to four years.

And this time we need to stop it from being crippled by limiting timetables. We have the next four (some say eight) years to move it through congress and into the states. There are states that have already passed it so we can build on the wins of this campaign and quickly move our energies toward the states needed for ratitification.

I believe same sex marriage and the right of GLBT folks to adopt can be insured by the adoption of the ERA. I am willing to listen if someone can prove to me that I am wrong in my analysis.

Let’s do it right this time. Yes we can!

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Same Sex Marriage & Freedom

As my workload has increased over these last several months, I have become truly aware of how my personal life has taken a real beating. My home is slowly starting to resemble a stereotypical bachelor pad with dirty laundry, dishes and mail everywhere. I am thinking I need some serious help.

I need someone who considers taking care of me as a life priority. Maybe what I need is a nanny. I need someone looking out for my health, welfare and sanity. Maybe I need a helpmate. I need to have someone in my life that can anticipate my needs and account for them routinely.

What I really need … is a wife.

I was thinking about this perennial wish of mine the other day when Ishtar reminded me of something I said earlier this year about same sex marriage.

I had noted that just like all social justice movements, the fight for gays and lesbians to marry could very well mostly benefit other sectors of society, primarily straight women.

And how would straight women benefit from same sex marriage you ask? Women could marry women and presto chango, it could change the meaning and context of single motherhood. Well, yeah, they would no longer be single. But more importantly, they would have access to all the breaks given to married couples, insure that their children were cared for the way they wished if anything happened to them, and if one of them had access to better healthcare all their children would get access to it.

But something else changes too. For those of us with ex husbands, families and in-laws whose politics, religious tolerance or value system differs greatly from our own, why not just marry your best friend forever (BFF). This way, the person who inherits, gets your pension and access to your 401K is the one who has had your back way longer than most straight marriages! We could literally take care of each other long into our later years.

And this would take a leap in understanding, since marriage we would have to admit, need not be a sexual union. It would become a joining of hearts, values and commitments. And if straight women could have their cake and eat it too, all bets are off in terms of strict gender roles.

And that is ultimately what I believe lies below the surface in the fears of the fundies of all stripes. Because anything that can potentially give women freedom, choice and escape from the rule of the fathers (patriarchy) must seem very scary.

Because if straight women began marrying each other, our culture could experience a huge shift in gender relations. One forecast we could make is that marriages might last longer overall and possibly the divorce rate would decline. Oh sure women would divorce each other, but the frequency might be less if sex was taken out of the equation. And what effect this might have on birth rates is a big unknown. But women all over this country might begin to experience a kind of freedom that we can only imagine

In the mean time, I am polishing up my personal ad. Because, increasingly, it seems like same-sex marriage is eventually “coming to your town.” And I had better be ready for when it hits DC.

SBF ISO WIFE - writer, teacher, mystic, poet, web designer and priestess seeks SF (or SM) for friendship and companionship plus help with household management, personal correspondence, and nutritional care. Relationship could lead to possible marriage. Sexual relations not required. Must be okay with alternative religions, politics, and life styles. Republicans and/or Evangelicals need not apply.

So whatcha think? Any takers?

Katrina

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One Bear at a Time

I am participating in a fundraising campaign to benefit abandoned children in Nigeria who have been accused of witchcraft by their families and neighbors.

As part of this campaign, I am knitting 10 stuffed bears to be sent directly to a shelter in Nigeria that works to house, feed, clothe, and educate these kids. I also have a personal fundraising goal of $5000 to donate to Stepping Stones Nigeria, a UK-based organization that sponsors this shelter.

Please help me to make my goal in one of the following ways:

• Make a one-time donation either by check or on-line
• Sponsor my bears by donating a specific amount per bear that I complete
• Donate a set amount to the cause each pay period through the remaining months of this campaign

If you would like to donate by check, please make it out to the Chesapeake Pagan Community or CPC and send it to me at the address below. If you would like to donate online, go to http://charity.becomingdc.org. You can then donate via PayPal. Please send me an email letting me know how much you donated, so I can apply that to my fundraising goal. All monies collected will be sent via Chesapeake Pagan Community to Stepping Stones Nigeria at the end of September.

Together, we can make a difference in these children's lives.

Blessings,
Katrina

Katrina Messenger
PO Box 5223
Takoma Park, MD 20913
USA

If you would like more information about this issue, there are links to articles and the organizations at http://charity.becomingdc.org/.

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