Lately it has been difficult for me to live in the moment. I talk all the time about how living in the moment is what we should aim for as spiritual seekers. It is just that it is currently difficult for me to return to the now.
In the now there is pressure, deadlines, commitments, sorrows, pain and confusion.
Off in my la-la land, there are mountains to climb, and stretches of forest to explore. In the future, there is passion and adventure.
But right now, I am not feeling much passion and I openly groan at the slimmest hint of leaving my house.
Can’t I just lay down for a bit longer? I am so tired of all this “schtuff” happening all around me.
I feel like I am standing in the midst of swirling winds and debris. And all the debris is from my life and it is all yelling at me.
“Do this now!”
“This is late!”
“You meant to have this done by now!”
“What are you waiting for?”
“People are depending on you!”
“Get with the program!”
And all I want to yell back is, “Bite ME!”
But then I remember … this is not about being in the now. This is about being in the Manifest realm. I love to swim in the ethereal, the astral and within the unknowing. But here on earth, I have things to do, people to meet and places to be.
A dear friend once told me that returning to earth for me felt like a trip through the underworld. And she is right.
As I sit with this insight, I slowly remember how coming to the present moment use to feel like for me. And as I slow down the moment, expanding my sense of now, once again there is peace, calm and openness. And of all the sounds around me, no one and nothing is yelling at me.
Now this is the grace I recall. And all I had to do was remember … and open.