Taking The Plunge

Well, I did it!

I just ordered 50 copies of Dark Beauty.

Am I out of my freaking mind?

My hands were shaking as I hit the submit button.

Of course lulu.com was very helpful ... ARE YOU SURE? YOU ARE ORDERING A QUANTITY GREATER THAN ONE! ... Jeez! Talk about giving me the willies!

I had already purchase and reviewed two proofs and I do not have time to get another proof before November 8th and the start of Between The Worlds. Sooooo I am taking the plunge!

Hopefully it will not be a bath.

Other than that excitement ... lessee .... Oh yeah!

Thanks to everyone who responded, called and sent prayers my way. I feel so much better. Still sad for my friends, but now that I have some distance, it is a sadness I am honored to bear.

I've been on the phone off and on all day -- (hint: something wonderful happened about 52 years ago!) And it is such a beautiful day.

Gangster GeekAnd what am I doing ... why I am having a veritable geekfest! Just in case you had not noticed ... I have another blog I update occasionally - Amber's Blog on my web design site. I decided I needed to feed my ever loving geek heart so I have dedicated this week to getting my geek on!

Yeah, BABY! I am doing it ONLINE!

love ya -- mean it,
K

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WTF!

Man! Am I in a foul mood.

I cannot quite put my finger on it, but t has been building for quite awhile. I woke up today, in the dark and realized it was not the middle of the night.

Freakin idiots! Messing with when the clocks get turned back! What on earth were they THINKING anyway?

And it only got worse as the day wore on.

My freaking laptop is acting up again. Freaking Drupal has yet another freaking security update. Drak is upgrading the servers that host all my freakin web sites. I cannot find the stupid pictures I sent to my freakin Verizon Wireless online gallery. The freakin sink is filled with dirty dishes. My insurance is refusing to pay the freakin bill for my PET scan.

... And my best friend is very sick. My coven sister had to go back to Ohio because her uncle died. My former coven sister is watching her father die. One of my students is ill. And I disappointed a dear friend by taking back a promise I made.

And ... crap crap crap craptastic!

All these people I love in a huge amount of pain ... and all I got to offer is a bad mood. So freaking pitiful.

Sometimes, I just want to freaking yell, "Just what the hell do you want from me anyway?" at the top of my lungs.

But all I do is sit on the edge of my sofa, chew on my lower lip, and furrow my brow.

And then I remembered something my healer/elder once said to me. She talked about how she would call up her mentor whenever she was in a bad mood. And how he would let her rant, rave and whine. He would encourage her to be as cranky, illogical and fussy as she wanted to be. And how he loved her for it. He would love her so much ... she would feel less and less cranky... till she felt better.

I wonder who I can call and be cranky with ... and whether this person would love me in all my fussiness, pettiness and poutiness (yeah I made the word up -- what of it?). And I can honestly say ... I dunno ...

And then I remembered ... I can write it out here. And ... and ... I can say freaking instead of what I usually say and folks would get it.

And I can whine, rant, rave ... till I felt better ... or at least different.

And now, I am sad. But it is the kind of sad that makes sense to me. I know why I am sad. Come to think of it ... that is a whole lot better.

So thanks for listening ...

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The Skin I am in

I obviously wrote this piece before I turned fifty last year. But as I sit here trying bravely to resist the urge to scratch like a puppy ... I thought it was a good time to share this piece. Remember, if you are viewing this on live journal, click the link to access the full version. ...K

I have always had skin problems, dry skin to be exact. But because of my perpetually dry skin, I did not have acne as a teenager. I did not have to contend with pimples till the ripe old age of thirty. Funny, huh? A pimply thirty-something.

Now as I approach fifty, I finally understand my skin. I have eczema, an inherited skin condition. It usually occurs simultaneously in families with asthma. I also have asthma. I guess I am an overachiever to the last.

So I have desert dry skin everywhere except around my nose which gets oily at certain times of the month. Or is that certain times of the year. I am not really sure about the pimples or their regularity. So to summarize, I itch everywhere, all the time, except sometimes on my face, when the pimples erupt.

And oh yeah then there is the rash, the seasonal rash. That’s what doctors call a rash that only appears during the winter months. I have another name for it, the creeping crud of winter. I get the rash, or rather the crud, on my tummy, butt, thighs, arms and waist. The creeping part is because once it appears, it creeps from wherever it starts, and eventually covers my entire middle torso with red, itchy and flaking skin. The doctors were amazed with the crud. They scraped off skin samples, advised against wearing wool and prescribed very solemn medications. That is until I met Cheryl, the dermatologist. She prescribed an ointment for the outbreaks, but more importantly she told me how to prevent it in the first place. “Moisturize like your life depended on it.”

So each winter, I modify my standard lotion lathering routine, and take it to the next stage. It becomes search and rescue. I gather my troops at the front lines, the shower. As soon as the water is turned off, I begin the standard lathering of baby lotion while my skin is still wet. After a brief towel pat, the search begins in earnest. First I check my tummy and thighs, turning around to view my waist and butt. Lifting my arms I examine my armpits, always on the lookout for evidence of crud or crud advance.

Finally, after noting the size and appearance of each incursion into the neutral zone, I plan my attack. All crud settlements are treated with medicated ointment. The surrounding areas get an extra layer of night cream. Finally, my entire body gets a final application of a simple Keri-like lotion. I am triumphant as I whoop it up, celebrating this gloriously hard-fought battle.

By breakfast however, I will begin to itch again. Sigh.

When will Spring be here?

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