Messages in a Bottle
My first session as a student at the Assisi Institute was eye opening in many ways. A great deal of material was covered in a very short amount of time. This session’s topic was unconscious communication. Most of the examples were from a therapeutic environment, but the applicability across disciplines was also discussed.
In a nutshell, we humans can be thought to have two brains – a new brain and an old brain, left and right hemisphere respectively. Our left/new brain uses words and numbers, and exists in linear time. Our right/old brain speaks in symbols, colors, images, and emotions and exists in non-linear time. They speak of the old brain as a two million year old person living in our psyche. This old brain sounds a lot like what many of us pagans call our younger-self to me.Note 1
Our right brain communicates to us primarily in dreams and physical symptoms. The other way our right brain communicates is by subtly selecting the stories the left sphere uses to express itself. So if you want to hear the old brain one needs to listen carefully for unconscious truths emanating from the stories that a person speaks out loud.
Without knowing it, we often obscure our true feeling but our old brain sneaks in the truths in the midst of our conversations. How often has a plumber mentioned some other guy that will cheat you while handing you his own bill? Have you ever heard a merchant mention substandard work elsewhere while showing her wares? How many friends and lovers mention the pending breakup of a couple days or months before severing their relationship with you?
An example:
Person 1: I am worried about J, I haven’t heard from him in a long time. I wonder if he is sick or maybe he is mad at me.
Person 2: Oh, I hadn’t heard anything about J. Maybe I should call him.
Person 2 is not responding to the unconscious communication from Person 1. S/he has not heard the truth underling the statement from Person 1. Person 1 is not so much talking about J so much as Person 2’s relationship with Person 1.
A further example:
Person 1: I am worried about J, I haven’t heard from him in a long time. I wonder if he is sick or maybe he is mad at me.
Person 2: I don’t know about J. But I am sorry I haven’t called in awhile. I am fine but I had to be on call for a family emergency. How are you doing?
Person 2 is now responding to the unconscious communication from Person 1.
Now I am hearing unconscious truths everywhere around me. It is blaring from the TV, snippets float up from sidewalk conversations, and I even hear my own stories through a new filter.
There is a lot more to this area, but this portion was enough to convince me that I am in right place for my education.
I will share more of this topic as I begin my homework.
--
Note 1: H. Buchy (Chemalfait) reminded me that younger self is actually "the oldest part of us". And I have to agree with him on this note. In many traditions that have the concept of the triple soul, the younger self, "fetch, unihipili or nephesh" is thought to be associated with the right side of the brain.
Now I knew this of course, but in my delirium I oringinally referenced the divine or god soul. I can always rely on my readers to bring me back to some semblance of sanity. Good catch, Henry!
Posted in
- katrina's blog
- Add new comment
- 340 reads
sweet! :-)
You are usually able to annunciate what I do not have words for. Thank you!
Much love,
-Eridanus
INTJ here. I hear what you are saying.
"what is remembered, lives". It was with sadness that I read of Wilma Mankiller's passing. She won't be forgotten.
"...Weaver, Weaver weave this thread, whole and strong into your web...Healer, Healer, heal our pain...In love may she return again..."
While student at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, I became friends with Carl Rogers, who was respected as one of the leading psychotherapists of his time. He taught me much about the art of listening.
Dr. Rogers said that when we listen, and people know we are listening, it shows we truly care about them. In turn, they will respond by caring about you. It opens communication and also opens hearts. When we accept them as a person, unconditionally, they will be more kind to you.
We should listen without preconceptions, without anticipation and without judgement if we want others to portray what they truly feel. We listen with all our senses, not just to the words which are said. Some people cannot fully express themselves while speaking, so we must try to see them as they see themselves. We should watch for non-verbal clues as to what they really mean: facial expressions, body movements, etc.
While we should show positive regard for the other person, we should also demonstrate our own positive self-regard. We do not react to their negative comments, verbally or physically, even when we disagree with them. When they do ask for our opinion, however, we should respond with our true thoughts and in specifics rather than generalities. We offer our own perspective as other options rather than as contradictions.
Listening might seem quite passive as opposed to speaking. It is actually very active. To paraphrase Bobby Kennedy, “I learn while listening. When I talk I don’t learn too much.” If you think talking helps to spread your own wisdom, you are not really wise.