Spiritual Life
Sharing of Joys & Sorrows
One of the most moving rituals within STC services is the part we call "Joys and Sorrows". It is where everyone is invited to come forward to light a candle in remembrance of a joy or concern. Initially it was done in silence, with each person who cared to, lighting a candle and quietly going back to their seat. Emotions ran high, and sometimes tears fell from the silent, but anguished eyes.
A visiting minister one asked us to speak our feelings, and it was as if a dam broke. The misery, pain and suffering were immense, but so was the joy. And so a new tradition was born. Now we sometimes complain about the soliloquies we get during Joys and Sorrows, but always the sharing is sincere and the support is real. It truly is the part of the service that speaks to the heart of STC.
Unique, Dynamic Worship
A Sunday Service at STC can be pagan, Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Sufi, Buddhist, or Marxist. It could include a litany of poems, a jazz creation, a rant, a polemic, a performance from a local school, a dance, or everyone just sitting around sewing dream pillows. On any given Sunday, the person in the pulpit can be a Christian minister, a S&M enthusiast, an elected official, a published author, a ministerial student or a local community activist. We have taken our services into the woods, on to the streets, inside a march for justice, and into a cathedral like sanctuary. Some services require attendees to jump the Beltane fire, travel from birth to life to death and back, or play hopscotch.
Unique, dynamic services are the hallmark of STC, it is also is our greatest challenge. How do you keep people used to innovation from getting bored!
I finally managed to push the boundaries further when in 98, I held the congregation in orgasmic awe during one of my Sacred Sexuality services. The fundamentalist Christians may have folks speaking in tongues, but only STC can get them to have orgasms during a service!
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sweet! :-)
You are usually able to annunciate what I do not have words for. Thank you!
Much love,
-Eridanus
INTJ here. I hear what you are saying.
"what is remembered, lives". It was with sadness that I read of Wilma Mankiller's passing. She won't be forgotten.
"...Weaver, Weaver weave this thread, whole and strong into your web...Healer, Healer, heal our pain...In love may she return again..."
While student at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, I became friends with Carl Rogers, who was respected as one of the leading psychotherapists of his time. He taught me much about the art of listening.
Dr. Rogers said that when we listen, and people know we are listening, it shows we truly care about them. In turn, they will respond by caring about you. It opens communication and also opens hearts. When we accept them as a person, unconditionally, they will be more kind to you.
We should listen without preconceptions, without anticipation and without judgement if we want others to portray what they truly feel. We listen with all our senses, not just to the words which are said. Some people cannot fully express themselves while speaking, so we must try to see them as they see themselves. We should watch for non-verbal clues as to what they really mean: facial expressions, body movements, etc.
While we should show positive regard for the other person, we should also demonstrate our own positive self-regard. We do not react to their negative comments, verbally or physically, even when we disagree with them. When they do ask for our opinion, however, we should respond with our true thoughts and in specifics rather than generalities. We offer our own perspective as other options rather than as contradictions.
Listening might seem quite passive as opposed to speaking. It is actually very active. To paraphrase Bobby Kennedy, “I learn while listening. When I talk I don’t learn too much.” If you think talking helps to spread your own wisdom, you are not really wise.