Through the Eyes of a Mystic

It must be difficult being a student of a mystic. Often I feel like I owe my students an apology.

In my defense, I feel like I am in a single continuing conversation, and the faces all start to blur at some level. So I will begin conversations with, “As we were discussing,..” and then realize ten minutes in that this person who is now in front of me has no idea to what I am referring.

And I will say to the person to whom I began the conversation, “I was talking with a dear friend and …”. And only much later does it occur to me that this may in fact be that dear person standing in front of me.

I often say things that mean something different than how it first appears. I have noticed people correcting me then immediately repeat back what I thought I had said. I cannot tell if I had that part of the conversation internally or whether what I intended to say was spoken out of order.

I find myself confused often in conversations. I am hearing things that were not spoken out loud … or something. Sometimes it is as if I maybe missed part of the conversation.

This would all be frightening, disorientating, or depressing if were not for the almost constant flow of light, beauty, joy, connection and delight that permeates almost everything I do. I am reassured by every inhale, delighted by every blooming flower and comforted by every drop of water that passes across my lips.

Life is so rich, sweet, succulent, promising and full right at this very moment.

Oh yeah, did I mention that my book is finished? I am writing the preface and making final touches on the intro. And right now, that is oh so sweet and satisfying.

Blessings of the Waxing Moon as we turn toward Beltane’s Eve.

Posted in

Submitted by katrina on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 9:54pm.

Maggi (not verified) | Tue, 04/28/2009 - 9:39am

I get confused with what happened in dreams and if it has even happened yet or I am remembering the future sometimes. Very disorienting! I think while we need to make sure that we are clearly communicating, we also need to not make appologies for using gifts and perceptions of just how interconnected we really are. If you can hear where someone is coming from even if it isn't out loud, they are still communicating with you! Good for you that you can hear them on more levels!

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Faethe (not verified) | Tue, 04/28/2009 - 1:26am

Congratulations on finishing the book. I am so excited, both for you and about it. I know how hard you have been working on it and it must be such a proud, sweet moment to have finished it.

You can learn a lot from a mystic, you know; it is one of those mysterious blessings. :-)

Love and blessings.

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Eridanus (not verified) | Mon, 04/27/2009 - 10:45pm

The book is finished? THE BOOK IS FINISHED!!!

Oh happy day!

Love you!

Or have I already said this to you?

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Ron Krumpos (not verified) | Sat, 02/27/2010 - 6:11pm

A student of mysticism said to his teacher, "I'm confused. Yesterday you told me the way I should search. Today you told my friend a very different way. Which is correct?"

The teacher responded, "Some people veer off the path to the left and I tell them 'move to the right.' Others stray too far to the right, so I say 'move to the left."

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Recent comments

  • Claire-Marie Le Normond (not verified)

    Wish I could be there. Very well spoken.

    15 weeks 1 day ago
  • David Salisbury (not verified)

    Katrina,
    I wish you all the blessings and power you need on your journey. Thank you for these words. It is good to remember that returning to work (and thus returning to grace) bring a chance for us all to rest and have joy.
    Wishing you joy in the Work.

    David

    17 weeks 3 days ago
  • Sigre (not verified)

    Dear Katrina- Thorn reposted your blog and happy am I. Your passion, always so immense, comes blowing out in these words. So akin to my own heart and soul that it makes me have a bittersweet smile.

    The Storm is only now coming to the edges of our universe and yet it will sweep and consume all that is. In the end, our beautiful universe will be so much...more? Different? Complete? Who knows?

    All I do know is my soul came here to witness and be part in this period. I cannot shrink from the work. I am here with you, fae sister!

    17 weeks 4 days ago
  • Macha NightMare (not verified)

    Thought-provoking piece, Katrina. Thanks.

    I don't know what to call myself either. In Pagandom, I've taken to referring to myself as a Witch at Large. In the interfaith world where I'm active, I call myself a Pagan. Sometimes I call myself an uppity woman or a Second Wave Feminist. I've never really thought to publicly identify myself by my sexuality, het woman, which is very "white bread" and old-fashioned. Not only het, but serially monogamous for the most part. It seems almost a liability these days to say you're het, but I am proudly and happily so. I tend towards intellectualism but only have a BA, which doesn't carry much weight, at least in public and professional worlds, no matter how much you've studied, trained, and can articulate, even teach.

    My biological heritage is Irish, Dutch, French Huguenot, Euro-mongrel. My social heritage is Roman Catholic on one side and conservative Methodist, temperance-crusading, women's rights and education on the other, with distinct East Coast sensibilities, now mellowed by more than half a century living on the Left Coast. My maternal political heritage is conservative Republican (altho what my relatives might think of current trends in the GOP I cannot imagine, since they did have brains and they did think and they did have a social conscience), yet I am much farther left in my outlook than any elected official I know. My paternal political heritage is blue collar Democratic, except that my dad broke with his family on politics and allied with my mother's family's conservatism.

    I'm a former hippie, a home-birth advocate, a home death and green burial advocate, an opponent of capital punishment and resorting to warfare to resolve humankind's differences. I support the right to conscious self-deliverance. I rejoice in any and all consensual expressions of love and eros. I'm a lover and a mom.

    I have never missed voting in an election and I disrespect those who don't avail themselves of this hard-won right. (I have ancestors who fought the Brits in the American Revolution.) I support workers' rights. I recognize our interdependence on this planet, so could be called a greenie. I'm a committed environmentalist in my day-to-day life (in terms of eating locally grown food, expanding public transit, recycling, preserving open space and wildlife, opposing exploitation of natural resources [strip mining, oil-drilling, nuclear facilities, agribusiness, monocultures, clear-cutting timber, overuse of pesticides, genetic modification, etc.]) I want to make the city streets "safe for dancing," as my old friend Tony Serra said when he ran for mayor of SF on the Platypus Party ticket.

    Well, you got me going there, my friend. Thought-provoking read, as I said. ;-)

    xo,
    Macha

    34 weeks 2 days ago
  • Eridanus (not verified)

    Lovely azaleas!

    [cough][gag][snort][sneeze]

    Just lovely...

    I know what you mean.

    36 weeks 4 days ago
  • Anonymous (not verified)

    I feel you. There is too much bs- particularly when people decide that their temperament is tantamount to truthful and ignore everyone else.
    I get irked by immature extroverts or closet introverts who ignore you REPEATEDLY and then pretend you're out of line for being upset by the time they can't pretend you didn't say anything anymore. I find that the same people will ignore you if you blow up right away, too, and that it's because they just don't think that honoring what you value is important to maintaining a relationship, or even worse: that you don't know what you value at all and that it's all a mind game for their pleasure or annoyance. Then they call you passive-aggressive, aggressive, moody, touchy and temperamental. I call them "not listening".

    36 weeks 5 days ago