This is part three of an exploration into how I navigated a recent difficult period. The first in this series is, Distorted Nostalgia.
I awaken with the following listed on my internal chalkboard …
- Nothing is actually wrong.
- Web design is my business. And as a business owner, I have to step up to the plate and meet deadlines. It is my job. I am a professional, and this is what professionals do.
[… break to catch a design idea for one of my clients …]
- I am a priestess, shaman and warrior mystic – this is my vocation. This is my calling, my great opus. It is who I am.
- I am not missing out on life. This is my life. And there is nothing wrong with it.
- This is exciting times. I am in demand. I have customers beating a path to my door. This is the life I had hoped for all these years.
Yes, I am scared, worried, and filled with anxiety – but this is what success looks like.
[…break to catch an idea for a personal goal…]
And on toward my day …
…next morning … from my journal …
Whoa! Yesterday was really hard on me. The quick fix I had hoped for did not materialize and I feel as if my entire day was a wasted effort.
And all my dreams last night were about (1) Disasters and picking up afterwards, and (2) Getting lost on a road in the middle of nowhere and dealing with it.
In the first dream, I had to pull out the carcasses of the dead and work with what was left. In the second dream, I had to find a way to care for these orphans without causing myself even more problems.
This week is impossible! Too much stuff on my list! And now I need to add in what someone forgot to tell me about as well, Aieee! This is all very stressful!
[ .. oh and here is an idea for some future classes ..]
Omigod, can [you] stop already? … sigh …I have enough ideas … really.
next ... run away child...
Posted in
Submitted by katrina on Sun, 07/20/2008 - 3:04pm.
sweet! :-)
You are usually able to annunciate what I do not have words for. Thank you!
Much love,
-Eridanus
INTJ here. I hear what you are saying.
"what is remembered, lives". It was with sadness that I read of Wilma Mankiller's passing. She won't be forgotten.
"...Weaver, Weaver weave this thread, whole and strong into your web...Healer, Healer, heal our pain...In love may she return again..."
While student at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, I became friends with Carl Rogers, who was respected as one of the leading psychotherapists of his time. He taught me much about the art of listening.
Dr. Rogers said that when we listen, and people know we are listening, it shows we truly care about them. In turn, they will respond by caring about you. It opens communication and also opens hearts. When we accept them as a person, unconditionally, they will be more kind to you.
We should listen without preconceptions, without anticipation and without judgement if we want others to portray what they truly feel. We listen with all our senses, not just to the words which are said. Some people cannot fully express themselves while speaking, so we must try to see them as they see themselves. We should watch for non-verbal clues as to what they really mean: facial expressions, body movements, etc.
While we should show positive regard for the other person, we should also demonstrate our own positive self-regard. We do not react to their negative comments, verbally or physically, even when we disagree with them. When they do ask for our opinion, however, we should respond with our true thoughts and in specifics rather than generalities. We offer our own perspective as other options rather than as contradictions.
Listening might seem quite passive as opposed to speaking. It is actually very active. To paraphrase Bobby Kennedy, “I learn while listening. When I talk I don’t learn too much.” If you think talking helps to spread your own wisdom, you are not really wise.