Long time, no see!
I have yet to write up my summary of week 3 of the Artist’s Way, but suffice it to say that it kicked my butt again. And now that we ended our media fast and reading deprivation, I have even new levels of angst to report. Which is not to belittle my very real pain, just making light of my lack of effort toward writing it up. I think I am still recovering from it all, so my summary will be late – oh poo.
In the mean time, I have finished part two of my search for marketing goals, and that will go up soon. If you are on Live Journal, expect a huge delay. If I have not posted in a while, they lie about when they will check for new stuff on my site. Sometimes things I post mid day don’t arrive till after midnight!
I will confess to going on a binge after my media fast. I wanted so desperately to fill up my head with something other than the big goddam truth I had been living with for almost two weeks. But that is another post … y’know … sometime in the future.
Ahem. So anyway, I am alive. I am in a great deal of physical pain. It almost feels like a CFIDS/Fibro flare, only worse. The massage therapist, if she had been from my hood, would have said “D’AMN!” several times but she was polite and only sighed. At the end she had this look of extreme alarm as she asked what do I do when I am in that kind of pain. And I told her the truth, not much. I eat liquid-gel Advil like candy, drink a lot of water and …pray. I still went for my walk in the park because … dammit I am walking and nobody is gonna stop me! Of course, the last bit had me limping all the way back to the car. Sigh …
I did manage to go to yoga class this morning. It was a hard class … on me … and so true to form, I had everyone laughing. It is how I cope. The massage did actually help, as did the yoga, so typing this is not bringing me to the verge of tears.
What I actually want to do is scream. Not that easy to do in an urban neighborhood where neighbors look out for one another. And at the moment, I am not interested in explaining it all to my frightened and concerned neighbors. Maybe later I will drive on the beltway and scream in the darkness – always does the trick.
L’il Devi just woke up and is struggling to find purchase sitting on my collar bone blocking my sight – so I will close.
Spring time blessings to you all,
Katrina
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This reminded me of something I wrote a few months ago: http://eoma-p.livejournal.com/36134.html
Could be the start of a fun adventure - whatever words you find that fit you best, may you be blessed for it!
Wish I could be there. Very well spoken.
Katrina,
I wish you all the blessings and power you need on your journey. Thank you for these words. It is good to remember that returning to work (and thus returning to grace) bring a chance for us all to rest and have joy.
Wishing you joy in the Work.
David
Dear Katrina- Thorn reposted your blog and happy am I. Your passion, always so immense, comes blowing out in these words. So akin to my own heart and soul that it makes me have a bittersweet smile.
The Storm is only now coming to the edges of our universe and yet it will sweep and consume all that is. In the end, our beautiful universe will be so much...more? Different? Complete? Who knows?
All I do know is my soul came here to witness and be part in this period. I cannot shrink from the work. I am here with you, fae sister!
Thought-provoking piece, Katrina. Thanks.
I don't know what to call myself either. In Pagandom, I've taken to referring to myself as a Witch at Large. In the interfaith world where I'm active, I call myself a Pagan. Sometimes I call myself an uppity woman or a Second Wave Feminist. I've never really thought to publicly identify myself by my sexuality, het woman, which is very "white bread" and old-fashioned. Not only het, but serially monogamous for the most part. It seems almost a liability these days to say you're het, but I am proudly and happily so. I tend towards intellectualism but only have a BA, which doesn't carry much weight, at least in public and professional worlds, no matter how much you've studied, trained, and can articulate, even teach.
My biological heritage is Irish, Dutch, French Huguenot, Euro-mongrel. My social heritage is Roman Catholic on one side and conservative Methodist, temperance-crusading, women's rights and education on the other, with distinct East Coast sensibilities, now mellowed by more than half a century living on the Left Coast. My maternal political heritage is conservative Republican (altho what my relatives might think of current trends in the GOP I cannot imagine, since they did have brains and they did think and they did have a social conscience), yet I am much farther left in my outlook than any elected official I know. My paternal political heritage is blue collar Democratic, except that my dad broke with his family on politics and allied with my mother's family's conservatism.
I'm a former hippie, a home-birth advocate, a home death and green burial advocate, an opponent of capital punishment and resorting to warfare to resolve humankind's differences. I support the right to conscious self-deliverance. I rejoice in any and all consensual expressions of love and eros. I'm a lover and a mom.
I have never missed voting in an election and I disrespect those who don't avail themselves of this hard-won right. (I have ancestors who fought the Brits in the American Revolution.) I support workers' rights. I recognize our interdependence on this planet, so could be called a greenie. I'm a committed environmentalist in my day-to-day life (in terms of eating locally grown food, expanding public transit, recycling, preserving open space and wildlife, opposing exploitation of natural resources [strip mining, oil-drilling, nuclear facilities, agribusiness, monocultures, clear-cutting timber, overuse of pesticides, genetic modification, etc.]) I want to make the city streets "safe for dancing," as my old friend Tony Serra said when he ran for mayor of SF on the Platypus Party ticket.
Well, you got me going there, my friend. Thought-provoking read, as I said. ;-)
xo,
Macha