These last two goals concern two of my difficult areas -- home & finances. For those who have been following along with us at home, by now you have figured out that Earth is not my strongest element. I am an air person, so in my cosmology earth is where my demons live. I generally suck at caring for my health, home and finances.
This past year, I made huge inroads into this area. I improved my health significantly, had major repairs done to my home and late last year faced some of my biggest financial challenges head on. So 2008 finds me in a much better position in respect to earth than I have ever been before.
This is also an area where I get the most projections from people. So I was hesitant to share these goals for fear of triggering even more unfounded abuse than normal. However I know that I am hardly the only one facing issues such as these. So in the interest of both helping myself and possibly helping others, I decided I could survive the scrutiny.
Beautiful, Welcoming And Nurturing Home
I love my house, again. I used to hate it. I thought it was falling apart on purpose, as if it was trying to make things hard on me. I am slowly making peace with the reality of almost constant home repair and maintenance.
I have also given up on having a spotless, a clutter free home where every room looks like a photo from Architectural Digest. All of it revolved around my accepting that a person with the illness and limitations that I have will never be able to handle the upkeep of this house all by myself.
Lowering my expectations allowed me to get to know my house all over again. And so I started breaking up the work into manageable chunks and asking for help. Putting the emphasis on my use and enjoyment as opposed to worrying about what others might think really made it possible to improve my experience of living in my house.
And in the process, I began to love my house again.
But now I need to translate that love into action. There are so many areas that need work and attention. I have developed a set of routines that have helped me to keep up with many of the basics. Now I need to concentrate on correcting several problem areas and resolving some long-term issues.
Financial Independence
I took a huge pay cut when I decided to retire early, and the subsequent changes in lifestyle have been painful. But I would not change a thing. The freedom to do my work is so worth it.
But as energy costs go up, and things start to fall apart, living solely on my pension is becoming more difficult The money I make from teaching can no longer be justified as quality of life funds that pay for things like books, hobbies and classes. I need to find ways to trim as much as possible from my expenses, build up my reserves, and find alternative sources of income.
When you live on a fixed income, many of the habits you build up when you received a salary or wage no longer work. I no longer have to save up reserves in case I lose my job for example, but I do need them for large expenditures like car repairs. Also my habit of paying large sums each month to quickly pay off debt no longer works, because I no longer have the luxury of earning way more than my expenses. So I have to change my relationship to debt completely. My credit cards which never went more than nine to twelve months without being paid off suddenly started to inch up. I had to relearn habits from my younger days and avoid debt completely. Now I only pull out my credit card for things that are two large to pay immediately and are part of project where I have planned how to pay it off. I use my debit card as a credit card instead of writing checks, but that simply makes it easier to track my expenses. So I use less cash overall.
But no matter how much I cut expenses, I still need another income source besides my pension to meet the higher costs.
Best-case scenario, I produce enough web designs, books, and teaching gigs to help me fill the gap. Otherwise a part time job may be in my future.
I also need to finalize/update some long-term items associated with finances, such as my will, life insurance beneficiary list and power of attorney documents.
2008 Goals
- Repairs and reorganization -- 2008 Focus
- Kitchen (4 projects),
- Bedroom ( 3 projects) and
- Closet (2 projects)
- Build up my cash reserves
- Will and Power of Attorney documents
- File Taxes in Feb/Mar, no extensions
Ongoing
- Weekly & daily routines
- Repairs and reorganization planning
- Budgeting & financial planning
Posted in
Submitted by katrina on Mon, 01/21/2008 - 9:13pm.
Wish I could be there. Very well spoken.
Katrina,
I wish you all the blessings and power you need on your journey. Thank you for these words. It is good to remember that returning to work (and thus returning to grace) bring a chance for us all to rest and have joy.
Wishing you joy in the Work.
David
Dear Katrina- Thorn reposted your blog and happy am I. Your passion, always so immense, comes blowing out in these words. So akin to my own heart and soul that it makes me have a bittersweet smile.
The Storm is only now coming to the edges of our universe and yet it will sweep and consume all that is. In the end, our beautiful universe will be so much...more? Different? Complete? Who knows?
All I do know is my soul came here to witness and be part in this period. I cannot shrink from the work. I am here with you, fae sister!
Thought-provoking piece, Katrina. Thanks.
I don't know what to call myself either. In Pagandom, I've taken to referring to myself as a Witch at Large. In the interfaith world where I'm active, I call myself a Pagan. Sometimes I call myself an uppity woman or a Second Wave Feminist. I've never really thought to publicly identify myself by my sexuality, het woman, which is very "white bread" and old-fashioned. Not only het, but serially monogamous for the most part. It seems almost a liability these days to say you're het, but I am proudly and happily so. I tend towards intellectualism but only have a BA, which doesn't carry much weight, at least in public and professional worlds, no matter how much you've studied, trained, and can articulate, even teach.
My biological heritage is Irish, Dutch, French Huguenot, Euro-mongrel. My social heritage is Roman Catholic on one side and conservative Methodist, temperance-crusading, women's rights and education on the other, with distinct East Coast sensibilities, now mellowed by more than half a century living on the Left Coast. My maternal political heritage is conservative Republican (altho what my relatives might think of current trends in the GOP I cannot imagine, since they did have brains and they did think and they did have a social conscience), yet I am much farther left in my outlook than any elected official I know. My paternal political heritage is blue collar Democratic, except that my dad broke with his family on politics and allied with my mother's family's conservatism.
I'm a former hippie, a home-birth advocate, a home death and green burial advocate, an opponent of capital punishment and resorting to warfare to resolve humankind's differences. I support the right to conscious self-deliverance. I rejoice in any and all consensual expressions of love and eros. I'm a lover and a mom.
I have never missed voting in an election and I disrespect those who don't avail themselves of this hard-won right. (I have ancestors who fought the Brits in the American Revolution.) I support workers' rights. I recognize our interdependence on this planet, so could be called a greenie. I'm a committed environmentalist in my day-to-day life (in terms of eating locally grown food, expanding public transit, recycling, preserving open space and wildlife, opposing exploitation of natural resources [strip mining, oil-drilling, nuclear facilities, agribusiness, monocultures, clear-cutting timber, overuse of pesticides, genetic modification, etc.]) I want to make the city streets "safe for dancing," as my old friend Tony Serra said when he ran for mayor of SF on the Platypus Party ticket.
Well, you got me going there, my friend. Thought-provoking read, as I said. ;-)
xo,
Macha
Lovely azaleas!
[cough][gag][snort][sneeze]
Just lovely...
I know what you mean.
I feel you. There is too much bs- particularly when people decide that their temperament is tantamount to truthful and ignore everyone else.
I get irked by immature extroverts or closet introverts who ignore you REPEATEDLY and then pretend you're out of line for being upset by the time they can't pretend you didn't say anything anymore. I find that the same people will ignore you if you blow up right away, too, and that it's because they just don't think that honoring what you value is important to maintaining a relationship, or even worse: that you don't know what you value at all and that it's all a mind game for their pleasure or annoyance. Then they call you passive-aggressive, aggressive, moody, touchy and temperamental. I call them "not listening".